Mons L. Pisanello
VATICAN ENQUIRER, TORONTO – Avid Life Media, the company that owns infidelity website AshleyMadison.com, announced today that the site would make a major shift from facilitating extramarital affairs to simply being a dating service for the newly divorced.
Citing “changing demographics” and a new focus on a socially responsible business model, Ashley Madison spokesman Anthony Macri explained the change as being consistent with the company’s mission to provide their members with the specific services the unique customer base requires.
“We have always been focused on the needs and wants of our online community,” said Macri. “This change is just another response to the demands of our difficult-to-please clientele.”
When asked what might be driving the sudden change in their customer demographics, Macri refused to speculate.
“It could be any number of issues that drives a marriage apart, so it’s impossible to pinpoint a singular cause for such a large and diverse group of people,” said Macri.
Despite the completely revamped services the site now offers, AshleyMadison.com is assuring their customers that all memberships and paid for services will carry over to the new system.
When asked about any customers who may not need the new services, Macri insisted that while refunds will be given on request, he doesn’t foresee any being issued. “Frankly, I don’t imagine any of our clients having need for an extramarital match maker.”
