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    Facebook Version Of Marriage Going Great

    SAN JOSE, CA—Citing the numerous photos and status updates that the couple regularly post online, sources confirmed Wednesday that the Facebook version of Annie and Colin Wheeler’s eight-year marriage is going extremely well. Several of the Wheelers’ Facebook friends stated that the couple’s profile pictures and cover photos—in which the two are seen smiling side-by-side […] More

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    Report: Majority Of Earth’s Potable Water Trapped In Coca-Cola Products

    CORVALLIS, OR—Fueling humanitarian concerns over the vital resource’s scarcity in many parts of the world, a report published Wednesday by researchers at Oregon State University has found that 68 percent of the earth’s supply of potable water is trapped in Coca-Cola products. According to top experts, the new report marks the first comprehensive attempt to […] More

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    U.S. Supreme Court Legalizes Same-Sex Marriage for Women

    “Gay men who want to marry however can move to Canada,” Judge Roberts (VATICAN ENQUIRER) WASHINGTON– In a shocking and confusing 6-3 decision released by the U.S. Supreme Court Friday, same-sex marriage has become legal across the United States — but only for women. “There can be no doubt that the founding fathers often envisioned […] More

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    The Only Way To Get Over Your Fear Of The Moon Is To Walk On It

    (VATICAN ENQUIRER) Via The Onion – It’s okay to be afraid sometimes. It’s a completely natural feeling that all of us experience. But we can’t let fear dominate our lives. In my case, when it came to the one thing that scared me the most—that single fear that tormented me nearly every day—I knew the […] More

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    Donald Trump Breaks Ties With Donald Trump

    (VATICAN ENQUIRER) Adapted from Eldeforma.com – The candidate for president of the United States and entrepreneur DonalD Trump announced during his most recent campaign speech that “from now on he breaks his relations with Donald Trump for statements he made against Mexican migrants”. In an attempt to win the vote of the Hispanic community in […] More

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    U.S. Government To Force Cellphone Makers to Disable Phones in Moving Cars

    The United States Government is set to vote on a bill which would force cellphone makers to create technology to disable cellphone usage while in a moving car. This technology would also disable the phones of passengers, as lawmakers believe allowing it to work for passengers could effectively allow the driver to circumvent the system. […] More

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    Scientific Study Reveals That Homosexuality Is Extremely Contagious

    Independent researcher CSOA, conducted a study of homosexuality and posted their surprising results over the weekend. According to their research, homosexuality is the single most contagious condition that exists on Earth. The surprising findings by the CSOA showed that 100% of the homosexual adults who participated in the study, had some level of intimate contact with […] More

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    After A Day Of Marriage, Couple March To Demand Legalization of Gay Divorce

    (VATICAN ENQUIRER)  New York, USA – “I don’t know why we fought for this, we were better off before”. After the legalization of gay marriage, a New York couple realized what marriage means, and, decided to launch a struggle for legalization of gay divorce. “What were we thinking? If one of the benefits of being […] More

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    Donald Trump Says He Will Sue Carlos Slim, Univision, Mexico

    (VATICAN ENQUIRER) – Donald Trump has come out fighting against accusations of his “Mexicanophobia”. Since he can’t be Fired!, Trump announced he will sue Carlos Slim for firing him, Univision, the government Mexico and everyone else who has wronged in him in the past. “They can do whatever they want. I couldn’t care less. I’m […] More

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    Candidate Profile: Donald Trump

      Billionaire real estate mogul and television personality Donald Trump earlier this month plans to run in the 2016 presidential election. This would be the first time he will formally seek the Republican nomination after floating the idea in several previous election cycles. Here are some key facts to know about Trump: Wife: Unsatisfied Net […] More

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    CP24 To Broadcast Entirely Without Audio

    (VATICAN ENQUIRERE) TORONTO – Local broadcaster CP24 has announced that, beginning next week, it will air all broadcasts with no sound or noise of any kind. “We noticed in our audience research that the vast majority of viewers were watching our program entirely muted anyway, so this just seemed like the logical step,” said Bell […] More

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