A satirical commentary on the news.
Alla Oria ha donato le primizie del suo ministero episcopale, mostrandosi padre accogliente e premuroso, pastore colmo di carità, raffinato uomo di cultura.
The White House has installed a revolving door. President Donald Trump hopes that it will be possible to have even larger numbers of redundant staff leave the building at the same time, while at the same time many newly hired staff can enter. “Unfortunately, we have to conclude that there are always traffic jams,” explains […] More
“Shit, shit, fucking shit, stupid asshole, it’s all wrong,” scientist Stephen Hawking said this morning when he discovered himself walking and with the vitality of his youth and to see that there is life after death and that, for therefore, all his assumptions about the nature of the universe were incorrect. “Oh, fuck, really?” Exclaimed […] More
PYONGYANG (The Borowitz Report)—Kim Jong Un has revealed to close associates that he has offered to meet Donald J. Trump only as a means of achieving his real goal: meeting the former adult-film star Stormy Daniels. A confidant of the North Korean dictator said that Kim revealed his true intentions behind the Trump invitation at […] More
MOSCOW (The Borowitz Report)—Calling the result “close but no cigar,” Vladimir Putin has conceded defeat in Tuesday night’s special congressional election in Pennsylvania. Speaking to reporters at the Kremlin, Putin thanked the many Russian campaign workers who tried but failed to propel the Republican candidate, Rick Saccone, into the winner’s circle. “Our social-media trolls did […] More
NEW YORK—Saying they are beginning to perceive the full scope of the secretive business dealings, investigators working for special counsel Robert Mueller announced Friday that subpoenaed Trump Organization financial records show the company’s only discrete holding is a Dairy Queen franchise in West Milford, NJ. “We are currently engaged in a thorough analysis of financial […] More
WASHINGTON — Lamenting that even the purest hearts were fated to be broken, the confused and anguished U.S. populace was struggling Friday with the question of why bad things happen to good people following the news that Vanessa Trump filed for divorce from Donald Trump Jr. earlier this week. “How could this happen to our […] More
Undercover agents in Guanacaste, Costa Rica, take down a dangerous gang for trafficking in an unspecified quantity of cholesterol and triglycerides. Authorities say they had been on the heels of the gang for some time, but their investigation was prolonged since the group operated mainly during the Christmas holiday season. Authorities say the tamales were […] More
For more than a century art historical experts have labelled a painting Queen Victoria bought as a Christmas present for Prince Albert a 19th-century fake. But a new generation of art historians has discovered they were wrong. Victoria and her advisers were correct when they bought the painting in 1840. It is a genuine work […] More
United States President Donald Trump gave a U.S. territory its independence and appointed a president on Friday.. Trump said he spoke about a meeting with week with U.S. Virgin Islands President Kenneth Mapp to discuss the country’s recovery from Hurricane Maria. “I met with the president of the Virgin Islands,” he said during a speech […] More
One of the world’s leading scientists, Dr. Michio Kaku, recently admitted on live television that the U.S. government have long had the ability to artificially induce hurricanes, earthquakes, tsunamis and major storms. In an interview aired by CBS, Dr. Kaku admitted that recent ‘man-made’ hurricanes have been the result of a government weather modification program […] More
Russian President Vladimir Putin has named the date he plans to release proof that the US government engineered the recent spate of hurricanes that devastated large parts of the U.S. Like a boxer confident in his own strength, Putin has been observing footage taken from the Russian Elektro-L No.1 weather satellite – and has been […] More
OTTAWA — Jean Chretien actually giggled when he showed his personal baggie of pot to reporters today as he called for the immediate end of arrests for possession of marijuana. “Hahaha. Yes, yes. For 50 years, I had céréales Cheerios every morning but you know dat gets boring,” said a grinning Chretien, Prime Minister of […] More
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