Billionaires Make Offer To Buy The Turrialba Volcano

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The Turrialba Volcano, Costa Rica

(VATICAN ENQUIRER) Exclusive report — A group of billionaires looking for something novel to buy descended on Costa Rica looking to buy a piece of Pura Vida, the Turrialba Volcano.

On learning that the Turrialba was not available for purchase, at any price, their enquiries focused on the Rincon de la Vieja (Old Lady’s Corner) volcano. “I am sure the old lady will sell,” was overheard from a couple of the billionaires disappointed that they can’t have the Turrialba.

Not wanting to leave empty handed, the tour bus visited one of Costa Rica’s Isla del Coco, the Arenal and the beaches of Guanacaste, although on that last one they learned that Nicaragua’s president, Daniel Ortega, has first bids on that.

Back to the Turrialba.

The Vatican Enquirer learned two billionaires stayed behind and engaged in what was described as “serious” talks with “the man who could sell them the volcano”.

The, photographed by the VE paparazzi talking to a park ranger.

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We want to talk to the person who can sell us the volcano.
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Is that enough or do you need more?
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Make the man an offer!
We want to buy the volcano, how much do you want for it?
I’ll pay any price, I wan’t it, it has to be mine!
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You have to offer him more money …
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I’m not leaving without the volcano.