Speaking to reporters on Wednesday morning, Trump said that the more than eight hundred and fifty thousand likes that Obama’s post had garnered as of Tuesday night were “phony,” and called the seeming popularity of the post a “rigged hoax.”

“There is absolutely no way that eight hundred and fifty thousand people liked Obama’s post,” he said. “I know a lot of people, and absolutely none of them like Obama.”

Trump said that, in addition to investigating Obama’s likes, he was demanding that Facebook remove several hundred thousand of Obama’s likes and “give them to me instead.”

Calling the former President’s Facebook post “as long and boring as a book,” Trump slammed Obama for being “terrible at social media, which is the most important part of a President’s job.”

“In that post he uses words like ‘motivations,’ ‘proliferate,’ and ‘unequivocally,’ ” Trump said. “How could over eight hundred thousand people like a post full of words that no one has ever heard of?”

A newly emboldened Trump told reporters that he had furnished Putin with a corner-office suite and secretarial staff to use whenever the Russian President is in town. “He says he plans to be here more and more,” Trump said.

Putin, who moved file boxes into his new office on Thursday afternoon, said he looks forward to many productive hours at the White House with few, if any, interruptions.

“At the Kremlin, people are always sticking their heads in my office, asking me questions,” he said. “President Trump just spends all day watching TV.”

At the U.S. Senate, a visibly angry Senator Lindsey Graham called allegations that there was anything improper about Trump giving office space to Putin “totally unfair, disgusting, and vile.”

“Vladimir Putin has worked harder to run the U.S. government than all of the Democrats in Congress put together,” Graham said.

This from a man “anonymous” who has access to a Wikipedia Time Machine (WTM) that enables him to see articles published on Trumpmedia (in 2025) as late as 2054.

According to Anonymous, Trump will be named Supreme Leader in a counter-coup in early 2021, shortly after the sham election of Elizabeth Warren who was later revealed to be part of a communist-Muslim plot with Bernie Sanders, Keith Ellison, and former president and traitor Barack Obama.

America’s NRA patriots in collaboration with evangelicals, later known as the Trump Militia, saved the day by organizing uprisings in cities across the country in the weeks following the November 2020 elections culminating in the Bowling Green Executions (originally proclaimed the Bowling Green Massacre by the fake liberal news media).

Attempts by subversive state leaders to quell the uprisings were thwarted when Trump ordered the National Guard to stand down and summarily pardoned the militias and applauded their actions. The communist-Muslim conspiracy then quickly and cowardly folded as its congressional, state, and big business supporters resigned from office or surrendered themselves to the militias.

After becoming Supreme Leader, Donald Trump’s great accomplishments included:

• Quelling the California Secession resulting in executions for treason of the Governor, his cabinet, the entire legislature, liberal Hollywood elites, and Tom Steyer who hid in Elon Musk’s basement for 236 days. Musk turned him in along with other co-conspirators and swore allegiance to Trump along with 544 other former subversives in what was titled the Day of Repentance hosted by Chief Justice Brett Kavanaugh, Franklin Graham, and Ralph Reed, and produced by Steve Bannon.
• Shortly after this momentous event, a plebiscite was convened on January 30, 2022, making Trump Supreme Leader for Life, reforming the Constitution, renaming the country The United States of Trump (UST), making orange the national color, and changing the flag to this:

• Signing of the Molotov-Kushner pact with Russia on August 23, 2021, ushering in an era of unprecedented peace and prosperity under the protective nuclear shields of two great superpowers. Joint military and economic measures also enabled Trump to definitively win the Great Trade War against China and Europe leading to their complete marginalization until China eventually renounced its Communism in 2029 and rebranded itself as “compassionate fascism” under the re-enlightened leadership of Xi Jinping.
• Termination of all fake news outlets and reformation of unfair libel laws. FoxNews is put in charge of all governmental press releases.
• Deportation of all illegal immigrants and citizens whose forebears were discovered to have illegally immigrated to the former United States. This will include millions whose forefathers were found to have been illegally imported as slaves.
  And much, much more!!!

Apparently, Donald Trump will also play an important role in every aspect of Trumpian (formerly American) culture in profound ways.

The White House will be renamed “Trump Mansion” and its plain white columns and drab interior molding will be gilded in gold leaf. Likewise for the Capital Building, which will also be rebranded as a hotel for visiting dignitaries by Ivanka Trump in 2023.

Sadly, Donald Trump dies on April 30, 2025, in the Oval Office after choking while trying to eat a fried chicken breast and a cheeseburger simultaneously.

The cabinet officials present are later executed by the new Supreme Leader, Melania Trump, when it is discovered they refused to administer the Heimlich Maneuver.

She then goes on to be a great leader in her own right.

With files from Quora.com, editing by VE.

The mystery of Melania’s absence, of not been seen in public in weeks is solved: Melania has left the Donald and has moved into a trailer in NW Georgia with Marla.  They are writing a tell-all book called “Our Donald”.

CNN’s Anderson Cooper has supposedly (according to Russian internet bots) worked it out so that Stephanie Clifford, the porn star who believes she is attempting to hustle Trump for cash to make her parents proud as well as additional opportunities to sell her services – but who is in fact being used by folks with TDS (Trump Derangement Syndrome) to attack Trump, can accompany him to the trailer park where they will all appear “live” together on camera to discuss “Our Donald”.

Sources told VE, Donald’s first wife, Ivana, wanted nothing to do with “those bitches”, apparently still holding resentment towards Maples.

(WASHINGTON) After gathering supplies such as a magnifying glass, a spool of twine, and a number of depositions drawn in crayon, Donald Jr. and Eric Trump reportedly set up the “Don And Eric Law Place” in a White House electrical room Monday to help their father with his ongoing legal woes.

“Objection! Objection,” said Eric Trump who fashioned a makeshift judge’s robe from a Dracula cape and repeatedly shouted “attorney–client privilege” while striking the top of their hastily assembled card table with an old claw hammer he’d found in a supply closet.

“We got a bunch of evidence and super witnesses, so you better let our dad go before we find you in tempt [sic] of the court! Your honor, I plead the Fifth, Sixth, 11th, and 700th! Case closed!”

At press time, Donald Jr. was sobbing after his brother accidentally smacked him in the face with a briefcase full of pens and candy.

Source: The Onion

“Excuse me, sir, would you please take this out of my line of sight until my wife gets here?” said Pence, who reportedly attempted to put the table’s sugar dispenser and salt and pepper shakers between him and the feminine syrup bottle before deciding that even having Mrs. Butterworth within arm’s reach could lead him to have impure thoughts.

“It just would not be right for me to sit here alone with a woman-shaped container, particularly one as shapely as this. In fact, I would advise you to do the same for the man sitting over there—I see he is sitting very close to Mrs. Butterworth even though he appears to be wearing a wedding ring.”

At press time, Pence had asked the waiter to pour syrup on his pancakes for him, as it would be unseemly to handle the curves of the plastic woman in such a public place.

Source: The Onion

Latin-Americans have well-known fury from being excluded from the “American” membership. Each time a US citizen identifies as American, the resulting argument is more intense than deciding which abuela makes the best tamales.

“We’re Americans, too!” Rocio Rodriguez proclaimed as she flaunted her Ropa Americana coupons. “Everyone from Canada to Tierra del Fuego is considered so.”

Trump described it as “unbelievable” and announced a directive to put a stop to the exploitation.

“This misassociation has gone on for far too long,” the president said as he granted Milo Yiannopoulos citizenship and gave him Washington D.C.’s key to the city. “If people want to be part of us, they have to pay for it.”

When questioned on how he plans to track the word’s use over such a vast continent, the president ignored the question completely and asked everyone to check out his new shoes. When pressed further, he said the economic gains would be “yuuuuge” for the already affluent.

In response to the order, “Todos somos Americanos” signs have popped up in lackadaisical protests across the continent. “Those pinche gringos aren’t the only Americans around,” severely overweight Gavin Hernandez shouted while finishing off a 10-piece KFC bucket in San Jose. “We’re all the same!” chants also emerged in Buenos Aires from marchers with maps simultaneously showing “America” as one continent and Africa as a single nation.

Domestically, trickle-down effects of the order have also started to resonate. When Houston native Monserrat Lopez was charged double at a local Starbucks, she was left perplexed. “I wasn’t even thrown off that they had written ‘Monster Truck’ on my coffee cup,” she lamented. “But when the barista told me it was because I ordered an ‘Americano,’ me volvió loca.”

Lopez is far from the only victim. Over the past few weeks, Latin-Americans have seen interest rates on their American Express cards increase drastically, discounts on skinny jeans decline at American Eagle, and hash browns virtually disappear from their American Slams at Denny’s.

“I even had American Chopper erased from my PVR,” an angry Pedro Badilla revealed as he cried sitting through Canadian Idol. “Taking away the American dream was enough.”

Not able to focus on something for more than a few seconds, President Trump also hinted towards future proclamations. These are rumored to include shipping Alec Baldwin and Meryl Streep to a newly-minted resort in Guantanamo Bay, creating a fake news registry that includes every reputable reporter on earth, and launching his own feline rescue site called “grab ‘em by the pussy.”

Source: Elpeji

The White House has installed a revolving door. President Donald Trump hopes that it will be possible to have even larger numbers of redundant staff leave the building at the same time, while at the same time many newly hired staff can enter.

“Unfortunately, we have to conclude that there are always traffic jams,” explains a White House spokesman, who was hired two days ago and is expected to quit his job by the end of the month. “It was a bottleneck.”

At the beginning of Trump’s presidency, when Deputy Chief of Staff Katie Walsh and Security Advisor Michael Flynn had to leave, there were no major problems, but when Angella Reid, Walter Shaub, Michael Dubke, Sean Spicer, Michael Short, Reince Priebus and Anthony Scaramucci were soon thrown out, while new staff poured in, the congestion became bigger and bigger.

On the one hand, people like Stephen Bannon, Sebastian Gorka, Tom Price and Rob Porter were still waiting in the foyer. Others like Hope Hicks, Gary Cohn and Rex Tillerson, who recently resigned, has to leave the White House through a window.

The revolving door, the same revolving door that is installed at Grand Central Station in New York, designed for hundreds of thousands of people per day, will help optimize the hiring and firing of staff at the White House.

Source: De Speld