Rodriguez has written to Elon Musk, the owner of Tesla, asking if the driverless car will provide him any help in the fight on the roads or will the fight be all by himself as has been the case up to now.

Elon Musk is a busy man, but he will have to address this as soon as possible if a launch in Latin America is to be successful.

There is news coming in that a top-level meeting was called to address Shwetank’s concern and seems like Shwetank has really pushed forward India’s concern in a very effective way.

The concern of Rodriguez is the promise made by Musk that a completely automated Tesla will be available by the end of 2018. And Musk delivers on what he promises.

Though no announcement has been made for a Latin America launch, Rodriguez and others are worried that the new type of car soon to be on the roads will alter their driving habits.

“Venting in traffic is like therapy to me. When I get home I am refreshed, got it all out of my system, you know the stress of work, the girlfriend … I am like a new man when I get home to my wife and kids,” said Rodriguez.

In fact, a recent study by the University of Argentina in Buenos Aires showed that road rage has helped reduce domestic violence. Researched Juanes Alpizar said that the numbers (of domestic violence reports) are way down, more than imagined.

Could a driverless car contribute to rising domestic violence? Alpizar answered honestly that he doesn’t know the answer to that. But if Rodriguez’s experience is any indication, it has many worried. Worried that the driverless car will not allow drivers to distress themselves and will take it out on their loved ones once they get home.

From the Vatican Enquirer – Direct from a page of Canada’s postal strikes, the Canadian internet consortium announced a pending e-mail strike.

Internet users across the country have been warned not to send any emails once the strike begins, as email servers around the country will either shut down completely or operate at a snail mails pace.

Negotiations are underway to avoid the strike, but sources close to the Vatican Enquirer (VE) said they sides are too far apart and a strike is inevitable.

Results of online polls are in favour of a strike, 99% of the respondents say they support the movement.

It is unclear why the strike is being called or its objective. “It’s a Canadian thing”, posted a user on the social media. Another said, “it’s aboot time, eh!”.

Experts are recommending to send all your emails before the strike, and even suggesting counseling if the strike runs into hours (like eons in Internet time).

“With this clear mandate our members have demonstrated they are in full support of their bargaining committees, and our direction in this set of negotiations,” said the head of the Canadian email strike committee, ironically through an official email.

The internet union has warned against e-mail scabs.

The Internet Consortium made it clear the strike will only affect Canadian emails,  international emails in will continue to flow in and out mailboxes on computers across the country.

(Vatican Enquirer) First it was Melania Trump copying from a speech by Michelle Obama at the Republican convention, then it was the scandal that aired on Aristegui News about Mexico President Enrique Peña Nieto’s plagiarism in his university thesis, and now it turns out Apple did quite a bit of plagiarizing itself with one of the features of its newly introduced iPhone.

Tim Cook, head of Apple Inc. on Wednesday in San Francisco presented the world with its iPhone 7 that is resistant to water, a decision that could send the company into bankruptcy.

Minutes after the presentation, several priests were outraged because they believe the company stole the ‘water-resistant’ idea from Jesus and will be taking action on the matter.

“We all read the Bible and know Jesus walked on water. The waterproofing of its new phone is completely copied. It’s a shame they did not give the credit to the Lord, making us believe it their own creation. They will have to pay for the plagiarism and our lawyers have already started working on that,” an upset priest told the Vatican Enquirer.

A legal expert told the VE that if the suit is successful it could ruin the company. “I would not plagiarize anything from a person like Jesus, nobody knows what he might do,” said the expert.

Nobody at Apple is commenting on the harsh indictment. Nor has there been an ‘official’ statement from the Vatican.

MIAMI, Florida –  Only in Florida.

The Miami-Dade Expressway Authority (MDX) announced today that it has plans to create a bumpered “texting lane” along the Dolphin Expressway, according to Miami news site The Plantain. 

“This is a necessary step we must take as a community to ensure public safety,” said MDX spokeswoman Anne Hinga, noting that educational campaigns about the dangers of texting while driving have failed to curb the ubiquitous behavior.

“Our roads are filled with millennials raised in front of a cellphone screen. We cannot realistically expect these young drivers not to text and drive,” said Ms. Hinga. “The bumpered texting lane is our attempt to mitigate the dangers of texting while driving and is a plan that we believe will save thousands of lives.”

Source Empire News

MIAMI, Florida –  As government leaders argue over funding the Zika control effort, environmentalists in Florida are campaigning to save the mosquitos. The Florida Conservation Coalition (FCC) says the attempts to control the spread of the Zika virus by decimating the mosquito population will harm the environment.

FCC representative Matt Toole says, “Saving a few babies from a life of gross mental retardation is not worth the entire collapse of the eco system. Bats, birds, and dragon flies stand to be wiped out. And don’t get me started on fish.”

One protester, desperate to make a point, was hospitalized after covering himself in bug spray and setting himself on fire.

Most other residents of Florida could not disagree more. Swamp resident Marla Jackson says she hopes they kill every last mosquito. “If just one sweet little babe is saved, I say wipe them all out. We hate those damn bugs.”

Source Empire News

With a disappointing year and its future on shaky ground, both Apple and its investors are probably thinking the same thing, what else is the company going to do bounce back.

Well, if a recent patent application is any indication, the future of one of the world’s most prominent tech companies rest solely on, wait for it, shoes. That’s right let it sink in.

The patent application filed in the U.S. patent office was recently uncovered by an Apple fan website, asking for the right to a “smart shoe” system, that integrated a processor and tiny sensors into everyday footwear.

It could be a “smart sneaker”, a “smart loafer”, or even a “smart sandal”.

“Shoes (including sneakers or boots, for example) provide comfort and protection for feet,” the company wrote in their patent application, explaining that “when a critical wear level is reached, even if the shoe looks like it is not particularly worn, the shoe may not provide adequate support and may, in fact, cause damage to feet.”

While it’s a bit of an unusual step for the company, think about it, the uses for a smart shoe are pretty practical.  The app could alert the user when the shoe needs replacing, tell how far you have walked today, a week or a month, or is the shoe the right fit your body mass and foot shape.

Can’t find your shoes? Let the app locate them for you.

Think about for a moment, how this app could go past footwear and into wearables. Is smart clothing Apple’s next big thing? The app could also be integrated into clothing, like shirts and sweat pants, or even other sporting goods like skates, and ski boots.

In just a few days, the company is expected to make a big announcement to the world.

There’s no doubt that Apple is at the center of technology’s largest revolution ever.

THE INTERNET – A heated debate online was quickly won thanks to that often overlooked left pinkie companion – caps lock! Jordan Ikmann of Toledo, Ohio was frustrated that other internet users were not responding to his bulletproof talking points and noticed they continued to express their own, lesser opinions, despite him clearly pointing out that they were fools and repeating that their opinions were obviously inferior to his own.

Things got heated quickly with all manner of foul language polluting the comment thread with attacks on the mothers and sexual preferences of the combatants. Jordan was ready to pepper his next response with more of the same but he felt he would give these mental midgets one more chance to listen to reason. So while furiously typing his response a slip of the QWERTY typing technique had him inadvertently hit the caps lock key.

“At first it made me angry when I looked up and realized I was going to have to retype my whole argument, losing even a precious second when these morons were on the ropes could ruin everything I’ve spent all afternoon debating,” Jordan said. “However, I paused before I deleted the paragraph and realized that it although it was the same points I had been making earlier it was now DOUBLED in size, DOMINATING the readers attention. It gave my words a weight and seriousness that set it apart from the other cyber clap trap that surrounded it. So I hit send.”

And hit send he did. Jaws were agape on the other terminals when they saw Jordan’s triumphant post. They were humbled. Worse. They were HUMILIATED. Jordan had bested them, there was no arguing with those BIG, BOLD, CAPITALIZED words. Any attempt to rebuke his comment was like throwing a pebble at Superman. How were their lowly lower case manifestos, littered with boring facts, sources and peer reviewed science supposed to stand next to THIS?

Jordan left us with this bit of advice “truth is, if they had found their caps lock key they might just have won but they didn’t and on that day I was the loudest. And no one beats the loudest.” He tipped his “Make America Great Again” hat to us, winked, got onto a horse and rode off into the sunset. What a leader.

Source: Thisshouldbethenews.com

VATICAN ENQUIRER – The apple company, after years of doing nothing revolutionizing, announced this morning that it will be shipping its new iPhone 7 with a broken charger cable and four other impacting changes.

In an advertising blurb the company says the iPhone 7 is “the best ever built, not like in the past, or previous iPhones which were also the best”.

According to its CEO, including a broken charge cable allows consumers to buy a new cable from the get-to, eliminating the need to do so in a month’s time. “You don’t have to wait for the month to have have to go out and buy another”, said Tim Cook at a press conferenced.

Cook added that the change will save the world about 8 million dollars.

Other developments in the new iPhone are: a less lasting battery, so users don’t have any false expectations that a battery will last them an entire day; and higher prices will help the cellular vendors boost their sales numbers.

Other changes in this new phone is that the box will have the number 7 instead of 6; the covers of previous models will not fit the new phone, so consumers can buy a new one without guilt; and, the charger connection is different, so you’re not using old chargers.

Another important change is that the new iPhone 7 will come in various sizes: small, medium, large and Android.

Adapted from Eldeforma.com

VATICAN ENQUIRER (The Borowitz Report) – Scientists have discovered a powerful new strain of fact-resistant humans who are threatening the ability of Earth to sustain life, a sobering new study reports.

The research, conducted by the University of Minnesota, identifies a virulent strain of humans who are virtually immune to any form of verifiable knowledge, leaving scientists at a loss as to how to combat them.

More worryingly, Logsdon said, “As facts have multiplied, their defenses against those facts have only grown more powerful.”

While scientists have no clear understanding of the mechanisms that prevent the fact-resistant humans from absorbing data, they theorize that the strain may have developed the ability to intercept and discard information en route from the auditory nerve to the brain. “The normal functions of human consciousness have been completely nullified,” Logsdon said.

While reaffirming the gloomy assessments of the study, Logsdon held out hope that the threat of fact-resistant humans could be mitigated in the future. “Our research is very preliminary, but it’s possible that they will become more receptive to facts once they are in an environment without food, water, or oxygen,” he said.

The VATICAN ENQUIRER, Los Altos, CA— Having reached nearly 2 million downloads within its first month of release, the new smartphone app ProMiler has quickly become one of the nation’s most popular exercise tools by informing users that they ran five miles each day no matter what, the app’s creators told reporters Friday.

“With ProMiler, achieving your exercise goals is as simple as turning on your device in the morning and being notified that you’ve already run five miles,” ProMiler spokesman John Lyons said while demonstrating the app, which uses advanced GPS technology to display a new, randomly generated five-mile running route near the user’s location every day.

“The more you take advantage of ProMiler, the better runner you become, as the app automatically reduces your running time by several seconds per day.

And with our ‘Calories Burned’ counter staying fixed at the number 1,000 each day, 100 percent of our users report hitting their fitness targets. The results speak for themselves.”

Officials added that the app comes pre-synced with Facebook, allowing users to automatically post their time and running route on their feed for all their friends to see.

From Theonion.com