Latest stories

  • Former President Obama To Make Come Back With An Eye On The Oval Office

    Former President Barack Obama is expected to re-emerge on the national political scene this fall, looking to become the leader of the House when Democrats take it back from the Republicans in 2018, paving the way for his return to the Oval Office. “President Obama will be back in the Oval Office when President Donald […] More

  • Scaramucci lands server job at Dick’s Last Resort

    BOSTON—Recently shit canned White House Communications Director Anthony Goddamned Scaramucci is set to return to the national fuckin’ spotlight as Dick’s Last Resort has announced that Scaramucci has accepted a part-time server position. According to Dick’s Last Resort’s management, the Mooch’s boisterous prick nature is a perfect fit for a chain that specializes in rude […] More

  • Scientists: Earth Endangered by New Strain of Fact-Resistant Humans

    MINNEAPOLIS (The Borowitz Report)—Scientists have discovered a powerful new strain of fact-resistant humans who are threatening the ability of Earth to sustain life, a sobering new study reports. The research, conducted by the University of Minnesota, identifies a virulent strain of humans who are virtually immune to any form of verifiable knowledge, leaving scientists at […] More

  • New York Taxis Gouging Customers Fleeing To Canada

    Taxi cab companies in New York are gouging customers fleeing to Canada, in the months since the inauguration of U.S. President Donald Trump, mainly Americans leaving the United States. Sources close to the Vatican Enquirer said “the flee north is in fear of the America Mr. Trump will bring them.” The New York Attorney General’s […] More