Greece’s Financial Crisis Solved, Chapo Guzman Buys All Of Greece And Pays Off Country’s Debt With the Leftover Cash

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Chapo Guzman, Greek TV announcing his most recent purchase and the renaming of Greece to Grecia Guzman. Photo from Eldeforma.com

(VATICAN ENQUIRER) GREECE – El Chapo Guzman gave his first on-air interview after his second escape from a maximum security prison in Mexico, which was held in the studios on Greek TV, the largest television network in that country.

El Chapo announced that from today, Greece will be renamed Grecia Guzman and everything else will remain the same, except that he will the country’s prime minister indefinitely “until the economy is completely stabilized”.

A source close to the Vatican Enquirer reported that one of the first acts as PM Chapo granted himself political asylum.

According to intelligence services of the United States and the European Union, Chapo escaped from his Mexico prison and immediately flew to Greece where his lawyers already had papers for him to sign for his “new property”.

A Greek government spokesperson explained that the sale of Greece to Guzman as the only legal way to avoid the collapse of the county’s economy given that the International Monetary Fund and the European Union did not respond positively to their restructuring plan.

In the deal, with the leftover cash Chapo is paying off all Greece’s debt and has agreed to make major renovations to the Parthenon, which has been grossly neglected over the years, said the spokesperson.

According to Forbes Magazine, Chapo dropped several rungs on the list of the world’s richest, but Greece immediately became a global economic power.

Back in Mexico, the Government denied that it’s Chapo, saying the fugitive is still within their territory and they will be continuing their manhunt to get him back behind bars.

In New York,  in an official statement, the United Nations (UN) said, “while it is unfortunate on the one hand, on the other it is good news for Europe and the rest of the world” and that there are no plans to send UN troops to Greece with the intention of capturing Chapo.

Reportering by Leopoldo Pisanello, from Athens for the Vatican Enquirer.

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