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Friday, July 21, 2017
A wildlife photographer's life has been shattered, his livelihood and bank account in ruins because a monkey took a selfie with his camera. As the story goes, it seems that a group of monkeys clicking away with the photographer's digital camera produce portraits of startling beauty. Andrew told the VQ that he...

Russia Would Grant Comey Asylum If He Asks For It

Russia said it would grant the fired FBI Director James Comey asylum in the event he makes a request. The statement came days following Comey's appearance before the US Senate Intelligence Committee, where he gave...

Scientists: Earth Endangered by New Strain of Fact-Resistant Humans

MINNEAPOLIS (The Borowitz Report)—Scientists have discovered a powerful new strain of fact-resistant humans who are threatening the ability of Earth to sustain life, a sobering new study reports. The research, conducted by the University of...

China Donates US$225 Million Dollars To Costa Rica To Improve Road System

VATICAN ENQUIRER - San Jose, Costa Rica. The Chinese Embassy in Costa Rica announced the donation of more than US$225 million dollars to finance a new duo-toll in the eastern side of the capital...
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Christ Appears In Roman Court To Contest 2,000-Year-Old Riot Charges

VATICAN CITY (ROME)—Complaining that He had better things to do than get up early to contest the “totally bullshit” claims, Jesus Christ, Light of the World and Lamb of God, reportedly appeared in Roman...

Justin Trudeau Unveils Plan To Meet Healthcare Needs Of Canada’s Aging Prog Rockers

OTTAWA—Saying it was only right to give back to those who had done so much for their country, Canadian prime minister Justin Trudeau unveiled a plan Thursday that would provide for the healthcare needs...

9 Out Of 10 Dead People Preferred Not To Have Died: Survey

VATICAN ENQUIRER - A recent survey undertaken by students at the Vatican University (VU) on the effects of death, confirmed that the majority of the dead interviewed preferred not to be dead. "Not that it's...

Controversial Trump Tower To Be Renamed Trump Plaza

Controversial Trump Tower To Be Renamed Trump Plaza (AMP) VANCOUVER, Canada – Following intense criticism over their controversial choice of name, the developers behind Trump Tower have announced plans to officially rename it “Trump Plaza”. Calls...

Pope remains champion at annual pancake eating contest

(AMP) VATICAN CITY – Consuming a record 87 pancakes in under 20 minutes, Pope Francis has retained his championship title for the fourth year in a row at the annual Shrove Tuesday pancake eating...

Trump accuses Obama of burning popcorn

Trump accuses Obama for hacking Microwave One (AMP) White House – President Donald Trump stepped up allegations today by accusing former President Barack Obama of hacking the White House microwave in order to overcook popcorn. As always,...

Pope Francis: “keep St. Patrick in St. Patrick’s Day”

Pope Francis on St. Patrick’s Day (AMP) VATICAN CITY — During his weekly mass, Pope Francis urged Catholics to remember to “keep St. Patrick in St. Patrick’s day.” The mass was the kickoff to St. Patrick’s...

Canadian man learns just enough Spanish to be murdered in Mexico City

Canadian man learns just enough Spanish to be murdered in Mexico City (AMP) TORONTO, Canada – Local bartender Henry McCullough has acquired just enough Spanish grammar and vocabulary in preparation for his trip to Mexico...