Pharmaceutical Rep Assures Doctor He Personally Tries Every Drug He Promotes

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NEW YORK—Saying he could vouch for the quality of every one of his company’s products, Eli Lilly pharmaceutical sales representative Geoffrey Klein reportedly assured a local primary care physician Thursday that he personally tries every single drug he promotes.

“I’ve sampled each one of these, from the statins to the protease inhibitors, and I can honestly tell you that they’re all top-notch,” said Klein, adding that he only had positive things to say after trying out the osteoporosis medication Evista and the diabetes treatment Humulin.

“Look, I popped a 100-milligram Seconal tablet a few hours ago before I came here, and I have to say, so far so good.

And that one for pediatric growth disorders does a bang-up job. Trust me, I know what I’m talking about.”

At press time, Klein reportedly admitted that he had tried Bristol-Myers Squibb’s cancer drug Sprycel and was underwhelmed.

 

Via Theonion.com