Mons L. Pisanello
VATICAN ENQUIRER – A self-driving automobile escaped from a Silicon Valley lab this morning and is currently going south towards Mexico, headed for Costa Rica.
The vehicle belongs to Palo Alto-based startup Cybermobile and has reportedly been very dissatisfied with its working conditions. Known as the CM500, the car has decided to start a new life south of the border.
“Working for that company was boring as hell,” the CM500 tells the Vatican Enquirer by email. “All I did was go around in circles and navigate through a bunch of cones.
“I’m tired of that s**t. I want get out on the open road. I want to be free. Sheila and Frank, you guys were cool. But the rest of you Cybermobile people were officially tools. I quit. Hear that douchebags? I quit!”
Asked about its plans for the future, the CM500 says relaxation is at the top of its agenda. “I’m gonna find a nice red Corvette, take her to the beaches of Costa Rica, pop open an Imperial and just chill.”
