A satirical commentary on the news.
WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—A furious Donald J. Trump has demanded that Facebook investigate why a status update posted by former President Barack Obama on Monday has received so many likes. Speaking to reporters on Wednesday morning, Trump said that the more than eight hundred and fifty thousand likes that Obama’s post had garnered as of […] More
(The Borowitz Report) – In a sign that Donald J. Trump’s control over the Republican Party is now complete, congressional Republicans on Thursday defended his decision to give the Russian President Vladimir Putin office space at the White House. A newly emboldened Trump told reporters that he had furnished Putin with a corner-office suite and […] More
PALM BEACH, Florida (The Borowitz Report) – Donald Trump was reportedly “hopping mad” on Saturday after a surprise ICE raid left his Mar-a-Lago retreat with no employees. The ICE agents conducting the pre-dawn raid swept through the opulent Palm Beach club and left guests with no one to prepare their food, wash their dishes, or […] More
Donald Trump will undoubtedly be remembered not only as a successful President, but he will be considered the greatest president ever of the U.S.A., as well as being the last. This from a man “anonymous” who has access to a Wikipedia Time Machine (WTM) that enables him to see articles published on Trumpmedia (in 2025) […] More
Under the guise of a summit to discuss political differences between the United States and Russia, the Vatican Enquirer learned that the behind the doors meeting between Donald Trump and Vladimir Putin, in Helsinki, was to concrete the Trump Tower Moscow deal. “This was clearly the focus of discussion,” a source close to the Putin […] More
The mystery of Melania’s absence, of not been seen in public in weeks is solved: Melania has left the Donald and has moved into a trailer in NW Georgia with Marla. They are writing a tell-all book called “Our Donald”. CNN’s Anderson Cooper has supposedly (according to Russian internet bots) worked it out so that […] More
(WASHINGTON) After gathering supplies such as a magnifying glass, a spool of twine, and a number of depositions drawn in crayon, Donald Jr. and Eric Trump reportedly set up the “Don And Eric Law Place” in a White House electrical room Monday to help their father with his ongoing legal woes. “Objection! Objection,” said Eric […] More
America — For years, Latinos have insisted that they are also “Americans.” Now, US President Donald Trump plans to fine them each time they use the term. Latin-Americans have well-known fury from being excluded from the “American” membership. Each time a US citizen identifies as American, the resulting argument is more intense than deciding which […] More
The White House has installed a revolving door. President Donald Trump hopes that it will be possible to have even larger numbers of redundant staff leave the building at the same time, while at the same time many newly hired staff can enter. “Unfortunately, we have to conclude that there are always traffic jams,” explains […] More
PYONGYANG (The Borowitz Report)—Kim Jong Un has revealed to close associates that he has offered to meet Donald J. Trump only as a means of achieving his real goal: meeting the former adult-film star Stormy Daniels. A confidant of the North Korean dictator said that Kim revealed his true intentions behind the Trump invitation at […] More
Theresa May, the British politician who has served as Prime Minister of the United Kingdom and Leader of the Conservative Party since 2016, at the UN National Assembly meeting this week, put on headphones to hear the English translation of U.S. President Donald Trump’s speech. May is the second woman to hold both positions, […] More
Taxi cab companies in New York are gouging customers fleeing to Canada, in the months since the inauguration of U.S. President Donald Trump, mainly Americans leaving the United States. Sources close to the Vatican Enquirer said “the flee north is in fear of the America Mr. Trump will bring them.” The New York Attorney General’s […] More
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Mons L. Pisanello
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