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florida – Vatican Enquirer http://vaticanenquirer.com A satirical commentary on the news. Sun, 14 Jul 2019 04:35:58 +0000 en-US hourly 1 https://wordpress.org/?v=6.5.3 http://vaticanenquirer.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/08/cropped-vaticanenquirer-fav-65x65.png florida – Vatican Enquirer http://vaticanenquirer.com 32 32 71485691 Trump Furious That Mar-a-Lago Is Left with No Employees After ICE Raid http://vaticanenquirer.com/trump-furious-that-mar-a-lago-is-left-with-no-employees-after-ice-raid/ http://vaticanenquirer.com/trump-furious-that-mar-a-lago-is-left-with-no-employees-after-ice-raid/#respond Sun, 14 Jul 2019 04:35:58 +0000 http://vaticanenquirer.com/?p=2704

PALM BEACH, Florida (The Borowitz Report) – Donald Trump was reportedly “hopping mad” on Saturday after a surprise ICE raid left his Mar-a-Lago retreat with no employees.

The ICE agents conducting the pre-dawn raid swept through the opulent Palm Beach club and left guests with no one to prepare their food, wash their dishes, or clean their rooms.

When informed of the news, a furious Trump reportedly barked at his son-in-law, Jared Kushner, and his sons Eric and Donald, Jr., ordering them to hurry to Palm Beach and wait on tables.

A spokesman for Mar-a-Lago called the situation “dire,” warning that the resort had lost almost as many staff members as the White House.

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