Thousands of people have tweeted and made Facebook statuses of their plans to shoot & kill any clowns they see within the next while. Some have even spoken to representatives of The Global Sun. “F**k these clowns, we’re taking them down!”, said one them.

“They wanna terrorize us, we’ll terrorize them back!” Pictures and videos currently flooding the internet of creepy clown sightings are now slowly turning to revenge clown shootings: shooting, stabbing, and hanging. A angered citizen spoke to a representative of The Global Sun recently, saying “Nah I ain’t afraid of shooting nothing! We ain’t used to shooting clowns, but sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do!”

Below is an image circulating the internet, of a clown shot dead.

Details of this specific incident are still unreleased to the public, but this, alongside with numbers of other cases, have been flooding police departments all along the Canadian/American border. A spokesperson for the Toronto Police Department says that in the past 2 days, 6 cases have been reported of clowns that have been beaten; 4 dead, and 2 in life-threatening conditions.

Unfortunately, what this means for the circus and birthday clowns, is HIDE! The chances of being mistaken for a killer clown are not worth your life. Anti-clown groups at large, are more likely to kill or severely injure clowns at any cost.

With reportering from theglobalsun.com/north-americans-shooting-killer-clowns-nsfw/

(VATICAN ENQUIRER) Low profits is the reason for McDonald’s announcement of the removal of all Canadian franchises. After a year of struggling to maintain profits in 2015, the McDonald’s franchise has seen an even worse decline in 2016: starting in the US after multiple tax policies have increased the cost of doing business for the fast food giant.

After already closing down almost a thousand locations from due to impeccable profit loss, Stephen Easterbrook, CEO of McDonald’s has announced the removal of all it’s Canadian franchises by February of 2017.

As Forbes reported early 2015:

The restaurant company closed 350 stores in early 2015, on top of the 350 it had already said it would shutter, as the burger purveyor seeks to stanch sales declines. Earlier on Wednesday, McDonald’s had reported an 11% decrease in revenue and a 30% drop in profit for the first three months of the year, a continuation of its troubles in the last two years as it has struggled to compete with new U.S. competitors, a tough economy in Europe and a food safety scare in Asia. The legendary food chain even tested bizarre menu items in some countries in an attempt to boost profits.

The picture blow shows McDonald’s Chocolate Fries that were introduced in Japan earlier this year.

To all Canadians out there: you better enjoy the last few months of McDonald’s restaurants on Canadian soil. I guess what they say is true about how the good things never last forever. What do you think of this? Leave your comment below.

With reportering from  theglobalsun.com

(VATICAN ENQUIRER) Just hours after the announcement of  the Brangelina (Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie) break up, many Nostradamus experts say the famous soothsayer had predicted the event in one of his quatrains.

Famous for foretelling many historical events such as the death of King Henry II of France, the advent Napoleon or the two World Wars, Michel de Nostradame, known as Nostradamus, would also have predicted the end of “Brangelina.”

According to some experts, an extract from the fourth book of prophecies would clear reference to the separation of the most famous Hollywood couple. American historian John Hogue, the excerpt is one of the clearest and most explicit predictions of the work of Nostradamus.

Hogue says the prediction is consistent with the overall work of the prophet, which specialized in predicting disasters of planetary scale.

After twelve years together, Angelina Jolie filed for divorce from her husband Brad Pitt, accusing him of adultery and of alcohol and cannabis abuse.

The 41-year old American actress and director filed for custody of their children, saying she was worried about the impact of Pitt’s drug use and tantrums on them.

Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie are among the most famous actors in Hollywood, and their combined wealth is estimated at nearly US$400 million.
Adapted from Worldnewsdailyreport.com

(VATICAN ENQUIRER) Los Angeles | Yoko Ono shocked reporters yesterday when she responded to a question concerning the presidential run of Hillary Clinton and the possibility that she could become the first woman President of the United States in American history.

The artist and widow of John Lennon, who is in Los Angeles to present a collection of cups and saucers she is exhibiting at the Museum of Modern Art, totally took reporters by surprise by admitting she had not only met the former First Lady at various times during a series of protests against the Vietnam War in New York in the 1970s but also knew her “intimately”.

The celebrity admitted laughingly to having “a fling” with her at the time and acknowledged her election “would be a great advancement for LGBT and Women rights in America” she added.

Yoko Ono when asked about her thoughts about Hillary’s run for the presidency completely took reporters by surprise.

“We met many times during the New York Vietnam War protests in the 1970s, and became very intimate. We shared many of the same values about sexual equality, fighting against the authoritarian, patriarchal, male-dominated society we were raised in” she explained.

“We had a brief romantic fling when I lived with John in Manhattan and Hillary was studying at Yale, but eventually we lost touch. I am amazed how things are going well for her and wish her the best for her campaign” she told reporters during the press conference.

Experts believe the statement could affect the presidential candidates bid for the presidency but previous allegations of Hillary Clinton’s lesbian past have not seemed to play against the front runner for the 2016 Democratic presidential race yet.

From Worldnewsdailyreport.com

(VATICAN ENQUIRER) San José | A group of Costa Rican park rangers patrolling in the Isla del Coco national park after a recent storm, have discovered one of the most amazing treasure hoards in modern history.

The treasure consists of gold and silver coins and ingots, jewellery, candlesticks and religious items, and is estimated to be worth almost US$200 million dollars. Archaeologists and historians believe that the discovery is actually linked to the best known of the treasure legends tied to the island: that of The Treasure of Lima.

“We were walking on the beach, and we saw something protruding from the sand” says park ranger Ignacio Ramirez. “We dug it out and found a bunch of old wooden chests. They were all filled with gold and silver! Then we dug out two incredible golden statues of the Virgin Mary, and other religious symbols. We called our bosses and said ‘we just found a treasure!’. They thought we were kidding, but we explained what we had found and they decided a team of experts.”

Cocos Island is a small island located in the Pacific Ocean, approximately 550 km (342 mi) from the shore of Costa Rica. It was well-known for possibly holding various legendary treasures, but its “protected area” status had forbidden treasure hunting on it since 1978.

A group of six park rangers who were walking around the island to evaluate the damage done by a storm on the nesting colonies of turtles, when they noticed that the tide had unearthed what looked like an old wooden box or chest.

They began unearthing it, only to discover that there were actually five different chests and other items, that they had been buried there for a very long time.

All in all, the treasure contains an astronomical 89,000 coins, ingots and artefacts of gold and silver.

Many religious items made of gold or silver and adorned with precious stones were among the findings, including 36 crosses, 3 chalices and two life-size solid gold statues of Mary holding the baby Jesus.

Many treasure legends have been associated with Cocos Island for centuries.

The first claim is associated with the pirate captain Bennett Graham who allegedly buried 350 tons of gold raided from Spanish galleons on the island in the 18th century. Another pirate captain, the Portugese Benito Bonito, is also supposed to have buried treasure on the island, this time in the 19th century.

According to the legend, with the army of José de San Martín approaching Lima in 1820, Viceroy José de la Serna is supposed to have entrusted the treasure of the city to the British trader, Captain William Thompson, for safekeeping until the Spaniards could secure the country.

Instead of waiting in the harbor as they were instructed,Thompson and his crew killed the Viceroy’s men and sailed to Cocos Island, where they buried the treasure.

Hundreds of attempts to find treasure on the island have failed.

Prussian adventurer August Gissler lived on the island for most of the period from 1889 until 1908, hunting the treasures with the small success of finding six gold coins.

Since it was discovered in a national park, the totality of the treasure is now the property of the Costa Rican government, and it should be exposed at the National Museum (Museo Nacional de Costa Rica), in San José.

The rangers who discovered the treasure have been promised a reward for their role in the finding, but the amount of the reward remains undisclosed.

If you find the story entertaining let us know. We will make up any story to make you laugh. If you have an idea for a story, send us an email or use the comments section below or post to our official Facebook page.

Source: Worldnewsdailyreport.com

(VATICAN ENQUIRER) Following Monday’s first of three planned national Presidential debates where according to Donald Trump he says he won hands down, the Republican presidential candidate has vowed to skip the remaining debates if his Hillary Clinton is there.

Trump blasted Monday night’s debate, saying that Clinton “distracted him from delivering HIS message to the American people”.

“Every time I said something, she would say something back,” Trump told The Borowitz Report, and says he could have done much better if the debate had not been rigged against him.

Trump is peeved because his opponent was given time to speak about issues that have nothing to do with what the American people want to hear, “they just want to know that I can make America great again and bull with the facts and issues,” said Trump at the spin party after debate, which he enjoyed immensily given that Clinton did not show.

“She is nasty, wouldn’t let me get my message out to the Americans who need to hear what I have to say,” said the billionaire, adding that he has yet to hear a response from debate organizers on his threat.

The candidate is clear, he says he cannot be treated fairly at the debates if Hillary Clinton is there. Trump stresses that a debate without Hillary will ensure that he gets his message to the American people without being interrupted and “called a liar by a very nasty person”.

Trump’s complaint is also against CNN for split-screening him with Clinton through the broadcast.

“It should have been just me and me alone, without Hillary, that way people could see how very presidential I am. I really am great at being presidential,” said Trump.

OTTAWA, CANADA –  Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau said on Sunday his government plans to accept American refugees in the event Donal Trump is elected as U.S. president.

The PM said Canada accommodate more than 250,000 American refugees on the possibility of a mass exodus of American citizens.

“In the event of a mass exodus of U.S. citizens, Canada will always be a hospitable country for people persecuted or fleeing difficult living conditions..” said the Prime Minister at a press conference Sunday morning, along with Immigration Minister, John McCallum.

If Donald Trump is elected president, political experts say up one million Americans could flee the United States in the first months, with million more expected in 2017.

Minister McCallum said that Canada’s immigration service has already received more than 500,000 enquiries from Americans on what is the process of emigrating to Canada, stressing that for now they are only asking questions, but can could change on the day after the election on November 8.

Trudeau added that Americans refugees would be welcome with open arms as all other refugees arriving on Canada’s shores.

Threatening to leave America is not only the “average joe”, but as well as celebrities and business tycoons and politicians. Nicolas Cage, Miley Cyrus, George Clooney and Brad Pitt are among the celebrities threatening to leave the United States, though the latter may be motivated more by the recent marital breakup.

Among the business tycoons, the Walton family is rumoured to move if Trump is elected. Bill Clinton, without wife Hilary, is the gossip around Washington, telling a source close to the Vatican Enquirer “she will be totally impossible to live with if she loses.”

Taking to  Rolling Stones magazine earlier this month during the Toronto Film Festival, Leonardo Di Caprio, although has never said he would leave America, he did say,  “I could never live under a president like him.” The Toronto real estate marked was abuzz with Di Caprio’s interest in purchasing a luxury condo in Canada’s capitol city.

From the Vatican Enquirer –

The reasoning behind this bold move is simple. In the words of Canada’s chief financial officer, everyone knows what a loonie is, printing a second loon on the coin has to make it work more, right, eh?

To avoid confusion that the two loon loonie is not thought of as a toonie (the two dollar coin), the second loonie loon will be only 60% of the visible, that is one loon will be hiding behind the other loon on the two loon loonie

But not all Canadians are seeing the change with optimism. A factor is that the loonie is not their favourite coin. A recent survey revealed that many Canadians prefer the dime and quarter, and the only reason they carry the loonie is for shopping carts.

Others see the move as a radical plan by the fashion industry. “We already have the nickel, the dime, the quarter, the loonie and the toonie, another coin will just make even bigger holes in my pants,” posted an angry Canadian on the social media.

With notes from Thelapine.ca

From the Vatican Enquirer – Direct from a page of Canada’s postal strikes, the Canadian internet consortium announced a pending e-mail strike.

Internet users across the country have been warned not to send any emails once the strike begins, as email servers around the country will either shut down completely or operate at a snail mails pace.

Negotiations are underway to avoid the strike, but sources close to the Vatican Enquirer (VE) said they sides are too far apart and a strike is inevitable.

Results of online polls are in favour of a strike, 99% of the respondents say they support the movement.

It is unclear why the strike is being called or its objective. “It’s a Canadian thing”, posted a user on the social media. Another said, “it’s aboot time, eh!”.

Experts are recommending to send all your emails before the strike, and even suggesting counseling if the strike runs into hours (like eons in Internet time).

“With this clear mandate our members have demonstrated they are in full support of their bargaining committees, and our direction in this set of negotiations,” said the head of the Canadian email strike committee, ironically through an official email.

The internet union has warned against e-mail scabs.

The Internet Consortium made it clear the strike will only affect Canadian emails,  international emails in will continue to flow in and out mailboxes on computers across the country.

(Vatican Enquirer) First it was Melania Trump copying from a speech by Michelle Obama at the Republican convention, then it was the scandal that aired on Aristegui News about Mexico President Enrique Peña Nieto’s plagiarism in his university thesis, and now it turns out Apple did quite a bit of plagiarizing itself with one of the features of its newly introduced iPhone.

Tim Cook, head of Apple Inc. on Wednesday in San Francisco presented the world with its iPhone 7 that is resistant to water, a decision that could send the company into bankruptcy.

Minutes after the presentation, several priests were outraged because they believe the company stole the ‘water-resistant’ idea from Jesus and will be taking action on the matter.

“We all read the Bible and know Jesus walked on water. The waterproofing of its new phone is completely copied. It’s a shame they did not give the credit to the Lord, making us believe it their own creation. They will have to pay for the plagiarism and our lawyers have already started working on that,” an upset priest told the Vatican Enquirer.

A legal expert told the VE that if the suit is successful it could ruin the company. “I would not plagiarize anything from a person like Jesus, nobody knows what he might do,” said the expert.

Nobody at Apple is commenting on the harsh indictment. Nor has there been an ‘official’ statement from the Vatican.