The TORRES REPORT, New York – Immediately following the U.S. presidential elections, countless remarked they would rather move than be governed by president-elect Donald Trump.
In the days following the election, Canadian immigration officials confirmed they were swamped with requests, to the point their online system crashed.
Seizing the opportunity, the Trump organization quickly rolled out their airline with “special direct service to Canada”.
Trump Air executives say the airline, which expected to make its first flight in the first weeks of the new year, will mainly focus on celebrities who by their star potential will be easily accepted by Canada. In fact, many of the no U.S. celebrities started out as Canadians.
It is yet unsure how many will actually make good on their promise to leave the United States. Early reports from staff at JKF, the main operations of Trump Air, told the Torres Report that reservations have been slow.
It appears that those celebrities have now balked at their prior promises and are refusing to leave the country.
Juan Carlos, originally from Mexico, said that he believes many are still waiting for a miracle to happen and Donald Trump will not be confirmed as president. “If he is confirmed, we can expect business to get bigly real quick,” Juan Carlos told the Torres Report.
Another Trump Air executive, who spoke to the Torres Report who said he left a major South American airline to work at Trump Air, said if the celebrities don’t keep their promises, the airline is surely to fail and will probably not only get fired, but be deported by his boss.
The Torres Report was able to obtain the recording of a pre-flight announcement from a “Trump Air pilot” of what passengers on a ferry flight to Canada might hear.
“Ladies and gentlemen, this is the captain speaking, welcome aboard Trump Flight 1600 with nonstop service to Canada,” the “Trump pilot” began.
“We’d like to welcome all of our celebrity defectors, and we’ll get you out of America just as soon as the tower clears us for takeoff,” he continued.
The “pilot”, in his message, assures passengers that once the plane reaches cruising altitude, flight attendants will be collecting their U.S. citizenship renunciation forms and would hand out beverages and crying towels.
Listen for yourself.
The airline is not disclosing fares just yet, it said it still needs to work out the details.
With reporting from New York.
The article above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious. It is a made-up story, is for entertainment and fun, without any compromise with reality and should not be taken as fact, alternative fact or to be the truth.