Canadianism and Americanism genes explain why Americans are generally aggressive and very competitive, while Canadians are more likely to be quiet<\/em><\/h2>\n

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VATICAN ENQUIRER, MONTREAL (TheLapine.ca) Genetic researchers at Canada’s McGill University today quietly released the results of a 7-year genome sequencing study that proves the existence of a DNA strand unique to Canadians<\/strong>.<\/p>\n

\u201cThis explains why Canadians watch curling,\u201d an excited Dr. Celine Lalonde, Head of Genetic Studies, told the Montreal Gazette.<\/p>\n

\u201cAnd love cheese\u2026and apologize if someone bumps into us\u2026and have sex more often than Americans<\/strong>.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cCanadians are humble but, darn it, this Canadianism gene explains a lot and gives us a ton to brag about\u2026if that\u2019s okay.\u201d<\/p>\n

<\/a>\u201cI hope you didn\u2019t have any trouble finding parking by the way.\u201d<\/p>\n

The breakthrough discovery comes less than 2 years after U.S. scientists bought TV ads during the 2013 Super Bowl to announce to the world that they had proven the existence of the American Exceptionalism Gene (AEG: Trademark Pending) cited as proving U.S. citizens are better than everyone else at everything.<\/p>\n

\u201cCanadians and Americans have a lot in common but this discovery proves there are actually huge differences,\u201d said Lalonde.<\/p>\n

\u201cThe Canadianism and Americanism genes explain why Americans are generally aggressive and very competitive, while Canadians are more likely to be quiet, have really twisted senses of humour, and apologize after punching the hell\u2026heck\u2026out of American hockey players.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cCanadians are complicated\u2026on the one hand they don\u2019t litter and they floss their teeth more often than any other nationality.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cBut on the other hand they buy beer in big boxes with reinforced handles, smoke a fair bit of pot, and are more computer literate than even South Koreans.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAnd Canadians are far less likely to say \u201ceh\u201d than people in Seattle or New York by the way.\u201d<\/p>\n

Lalonde said her research has so far been unable to explain anomalies such as Stephen Harper, Ted Cruz, and Justin Bieber.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Canadianism and Americanism genes explain why Americans are generally aggressive and very competitive, while Canadians are more likely to be quiet   VATICAN ENQUIRER, MONTREAL (TheLapine.ca) Genetic researchers at Canada’s McGill University today quietly released the results of a 7-year genome sequencing study that proves the existence of a DNA strand unique to Canadians. \u201cThis […] More<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":4,"featured_media":1123,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"spay_email":"","footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_is_tweetstorm":false},"categories":[9],"tags":[203],"adace-sponsor":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"http:\/\/vaticanenquirer.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/01\/CanadaUSHockey.jpg","jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"wps_subtitle":"","_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/vaticanenquirer.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1122"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/vaticanenquirer.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/vaticanenquirer.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/vaticanenquirer.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/4"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/vaticanenquirer.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1122"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"http:\/\/vaticanenquirer.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1122\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1128,"href":"http:\/\/vaticanenquirer.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1122\/revisions\/1128"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/vaticanenquirer.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/1123"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/vaticanenquirer.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1122"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/vaticanenquirer.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1122"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/vaticanenquirer.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1122"},{"taxonomy":"adace-sponsor","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/vaticanenquirer.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/adace-sponsor?post=1122"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}