<\/a><\/p>\n

MUNICH \u2014 Preparations are nearing completion for the world\u2019s first Slow Olympics, where athletes from around the world will compete while living in the moment.<\/p>\n

Inspired by other Slow movements such as Slow Food<\/a>, Slow Parenting<\/a> and Slow Emergency Response, the first annual Slow Olympics is scheduled to open this August in the Bavarian town of Platzed.<\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s not about how \u2018fast\u2019 you can do it or if you can do it \u2019better\u2019 than the other guy\u2026it\u2019s about how rewarding is it for you on a deep and personal level,\u201d said International Slow Olympics Committee\u2019s president Dietrich Schleppers.<\/p>\n

Up to 500 athletes from a dozen countries are expected to \u201cuncompete\u201d in such unique Slow Olympics events as the 100 Metre Meander, the Easy-Does-It-Don\u2019t-Give-Yourself-a-Hernia Discus Throw, and (to be live-streamed online) Ladies Hot Tub Volleyball.<\/p>\n

With no starting guns or finish lines, judges will rate-but-not-judge athletes on such Slow Olympics criteria<\/a> as \u201cin the zone\u201d, \u201cstopping to smell the roses\u201d, \u201cbeing in touch with your body beautiful\u201d, and \u201cpeak mindful experience\u201d.<\/p>\n

The inaugural Slow Olympics is expected to draw a huge TV audience and will finish \u201cby 2017 at the very latest,\u201d according to Schleppers, a former mascot for the Turks and Caicos national soccer team.<\/p>\n

\u201cUnless, of course, people are having a really calm time, in which case it could go on and on and on \u2026\u201d he added.<\/p>\n

<\/a>Platzed mayor Hoagy Carmichaelstein expects the Slow Olympics will put his sleepy Alpine village on the map.<\/p>\n

\u201cWe are already famous from up to 100 kilometres for our Wiener Schnitzel<\/a>, our beer gardens, unt our coronary thrombosis. Slow athletics is, for us, a perfect fit!\u201d<\/p>\n

Shleppers promises athletes will be strictly \u2013 and very slowly \u2013 tested for performance-enhancing drugs such as Xanax<\/a>, Halcion and chamomile tea.<\/p>\n

Pre-event sex will be encouraged \u2013 \u201cand facilitated.\u201d<\/p>\n

Article by Syd Baumel, Via Thelapine.ca<\/a><\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

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