<\/a>VATICAN ENQUIRER – Athens –\u00a0 On the heels of signing a \u201ctough love\u201d debt agreement with the European Union, the newly bailed-out Greek government today began asking visitors to pack their own supply of toilet paper.<\/p>\n

And if they have room in their suitcases, to maybe bring a few extra rolls for locals.<\/p>\n

\u201cWe are down to our last warehouse of Charmin Ultra Soft,\u201d a grim Greek Prime Minister Alexis Tsipras told the Wall Street Journal this morning following news that Greece will be totally out of debt in 94 years and able to get back on its feet.<\/p>\n

\u201cSadly, now proud Greeks can no longer even wipe their own rear ends without the permission of Europe.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cLet alone have quality 2-ply in tourist hotel rooms.\u201d<\/p>\n

The national toilet paper shortage in Greece is just one of the immediate outcomes of the \u201ctough-love\u201d 330 billion Euro ($364 billion U.S.) debt restructuring imposed on the country by Germany, the European Union, and a swarm of American banks bailed out by the U.S. government in 2008.<\/p>\n

\u201cBut anything tourists can bring will be much appreciated greatly by Greeks \u2014 non-perishable food items, flashlight batteries, tube socks \u2014 we\u2019re pretty much running out of everything,\u201d said Tsipras.<\/p>\n

As part of the bailout deal written by German Chancellor Angela Merkel, Greece will remain in the Eurozone but is being forced to cut pensions for old people, increase taxes, and turn over ownership of tourist attractions such as the Acropylis, now the property of MasterCard (\u201cEverything Else is Priceless\u201d).<\/p>\n

Social media has exploded with attacks on the \u201cmoney before people\u201d austerity deal (#ThisIsACoup) and even mainstream media is reminding Merkel that Greece and 20 other countries bailed out Germany in 1953, forgiving 50% of the 32 billion Deutsche Mark debt and allowing easy repayment terms on a \u201cwhen you can\u201d basis.<\/p>\n

\u201cGreece has warm people, culture, historical attractions, and glorious beaches,\u201d said Tsipras.<\/p>\n

\u201cWe just do not have toilet paper.\u201d<\/p>\n

Stock markets climbed sharply on news of the Greek deal with many multi-national corporations assuring investors they will get their dividends after all.<\/p>\n

Source: Thelapine.ca<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

VATICAN ENQUIRER – Athens –\u00a0 On the heels of signing a \u201ctough love\u201d debt agreement with the European Union, the newly bailed-out Greek government today began asking visitors to pack their own supply of toilet paper. And if they have room in their suitcases, to maybe bring a few extra rolls for locals. \u201cWe are […] More<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":4,"featured_media":1600,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"spay_email":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_is_tweetstorm":false},"categories":[1],"tags":[203],"adace-sponsor":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"http:\/\/vaticanenquirer.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/08\/Toilet-Paper-Roll-Sorry-Sized.jpg","jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"wps_subtitle":"","_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/vaticanenquirer.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1599"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/vaticanenquirer.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/vaticanenquirer.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/vaticanenquirer.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/4"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/vaticanenquirer.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1599"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"http:\/\/vaticanenquirer.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1599\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1601,"href":"http:\/\/vaticanenquirer.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1599\/revisions\/1601"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/vaticanenquirer.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/1600"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/vaticanenquirer.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1599"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/vaticanenquirer.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1599"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/vaticanenquirer.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1599"},{"taxonomy":"adace-sponsor","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/vaticanenquirer.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/adace-sponsor?post=1599"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}