ANN ARBOR, MI \u2014Giving customers the ability to keep tabs on their order through every step of the process, Domino\u2019s Pizza announced Tuesday the release of a new app that lets users track the progress of their food as it moves through the human digestive system.<\/p>\n

\u201cAfter you take that first mouthwatering bite of Domino\u2019s pizza, just log into our app on your smartphone or tablet to get updates on how your meal is progressing from ingestion, to digestion, to absorption, to elimination from the body,\u201d Domino\u2019s CEO J. Patrick Doyle said of the app that can reportedly provide users with real-time alerts when a food item has reached their pharynx, esophagus, stomach, small intestine, colon, rectum, or anus.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhen you order from Domino\u2019s, you don\u2019t have to sit around wondering when your pizza or cheesy bread is going to arrive at its ultimate destination.<\/p>\n

As soon as you swallow, there\u2019s a timer and a status bar that provides a detailed description of exactly where your food is and what\u2019s happening to it.\u201d<\/p>\n

According to company officials, Domino\u2019s guarantees its deliveries will pass through you in 30 minutes or less.<\/p>\n

Source: Theonion.com<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

ANN ARBOR, MI \u2014Giving customers the ability to keep tabs on their order through every step of the process, Domino\u2019s Pizza announced Tuesday the release of a new app that lets users track the progress of their food as it moves through the human digestive system. \u201cAfter you take that first mouthwatering bite of Domino\u2019s […] More<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":4,"featured_media":2082,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"spay_email":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_is_tweetstorm":false},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"adace-sponsor":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"http:\/\/vaticanenquirer.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/12\/565.jpg","jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"wps_subtitle":"","_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/vaticanenquirer.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2063"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/vaticanenquirer.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/vaticanenquirer.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/vaticanenquirer.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/4"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/vaticanenquirer.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2063"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"http:\/\/vaticanenquirer.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2063\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2083,"href":"http:\/\/vaticanenquirer.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2063\/revisions\/2083"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/vaticanenquirer.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/2082"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/vaticanenquirer.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2063"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/vaticanenquirer.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2063"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/vaticanenquirer.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2063"},{"taxonomy":"adace-sponsor","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/vaticanenquirer.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/adace-sponsor?post=2063"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}