OTTAWA\u2014Saying it was only right to give back to those who had done so much for their country, Canadian prime minister Justin Trudeau unveiled a plan Thursday that would provide for the healthcare needs of the nation\u2019s aging prog rockers.<\/p>\n

\u201cGroups from Rush to Triumph to Harmonium are valued members of our society, and it\u2019s our duty to ensure that they\u2019re healthy enough to tour throughout their golden years,\u201d said Trudeau at a press conference, explaining that a new bill slightly raising sales taxes would fully fund coverage for the increased expenses incurred by the nation\u2019s elderly prog-rock vocalists, guitarists, and mellotron players.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhile prog rockers represent over 5 percent of Canada\u2019s GDP, they require an increasing amount of our healthcare funds, with The Guess Who and Voivod accounting for millions of dollars in annual medical spending alone.<\/p>\n

As band members get older and have trouble standing for the duration of 19-minute intros, remembering all the lyrics to their fantasy concept albums, or simply getting around a 40-piece drum kit, we owe it to them to do all we can.\u201d<\/p>\n

Trudeau\u2019s plan has reportedly spurred calls for similar legislation in Norway, where citizens will increasingly have to contend with significant healthcare expenditures for their large and rapidly aging black metal population.<\/p>\n

Source: Theonion.com<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

OTTAWA\u2014Saying it was only right to give back to those who had done so much for their country, Canadian prime minister Justin Trudeau unveiled a plan Thursday that would provide for the healthcare needs of the nation\u2019s aging prog rockers. \u201cGroups from Rush to Triumph to Harmonium are valued members of our society, and it\u2019s […] More<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":4,"featured_media":2376,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"spay_email":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_is_tweetstorm":false},"categories":[251,1],"tags":[],"adace-sponsor":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"http:\/\/vaticanenquirer.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/04\/prog-rockers-trudeau.jpg","jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"wps_subtitle":"","_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/vaticanenquirer.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2375"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/vaticanenquirer.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/vaticanenquirer.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/vaticanenquirer.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/4"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/vaticanenquirer.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2375"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"http:\/\/vaticanenquirer.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2375\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2377,"href":"http:\/\/vaticanenquirer.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2375\/revisions\/2377"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/vaticanenquirer.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/2376"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/vaticanenquirer.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2375"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/vaticanenquirer.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2375"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/vaticanenquirer.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2375"},{"taxonomy":"adace-sponsor","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/vaticanenquirer.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/adace-sponsor?post=2375"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}