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PYONGYANG (The Borowitz Report)\u2014Kim Jong Un has revealed to close associates that he has offered to meet Donald J. Trump only as a means of achieving his real goal: meeting the former adult-film star Stormy Daniels.<\/p>\n

A confidant of the North Korean dictator said that Kim revealed his true intentions behind the Trump invitation at a high-level government meeting on Thursday night. \u201cKim said that he was a big fan of Stormy\u2019s, and he decided that meeting with Trump would be a \u2018necessary evil\u2019 if he wanted a chance to meet her,\u201d the confidant said.<\/p>\n

According to the confidant, Kim first attempted to arrange a meeting with Daniels through his close friend, the former N.B.A. player Dennis Rodman, \u201cbut, when Dennis said that he didn\u2019t know Stormy, Kim was, like, \u2018Oh, well, I guess I\u2019ll have to go through Trump, then.\u2019 \u201d<\/p>\n

Kim reportedly is prepared to use whatever leverage is necessary to force Trump to broker the meeting with the erstwhile porn performer. \u201cIf Kim doesn\u2019t get to meet Stormy, the missile tests resume,\u201d the confidant said.<\/p>\n

When told about Kim\u2019s real reason for offering to meet with Trump, a White House aide initially expressed shock, but then added, \u201cNow everything makes sense.\u201d<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

PYONGYANG (The Borowitz Report)\u2014Kim Jong Un has revealed to close associates that he has offered to meet Donald J. Trump only as a means of achieving his real goal: meeting the former adult-film star Stormy Daniels. A confidant of the North Korean dictator said that Kim revealed his true intentions behind the Trump invitation at […] More<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":4,"featured_media":2547,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"spay_email":"","footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_is_tweetstorm":false},"categories":[102,1],"tags":[127,322,320,321],"adace-sponsor":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"http:\/\/vaticanenquirer.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/03\/Borowitz-What-Kim-Jong-Un-Really-Wants.jpg","jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"wps_subtitle":"","_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/vaticanenquirer.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2546"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/vaticanenquirer.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/vaticanenquirer.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/vaticanenquirer.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/4"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/vaticanenquirer.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2546"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"http:\/\/vaticanenquirer.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2546\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2548,"href":"http:\/\/vaticanenquirer.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2546\/revisions\/2548"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/vaticanenquirer.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/2547"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/vaticanenquirer.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2546"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/vaticanenquirer.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2546"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/vaticanenquirer.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2546"},{"taxonomy":"adace-sponsor","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/vaticanenquirer.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/adace-sponsor?post=2546"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}