![\"\"](\"http:\/\/vaticanenquirer.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/03\/President-Trumpu2019s-America-First.jpg\")
<\/a>Latin-Americans have well-known fury from being excluded from the \u201cAmerican\u201d membership. Each time a US citizen identifies as American, the resulting argument is more intense than deciding which abuela makes the best tamales.<\/p>\n
\u201cWe\u2019re Americans, too!\u201d Rocio Rodriguez proclaimed as she flaunted her Ropa Americana coupons. \u201cEveryone from Canada to Tierra del Fuego<\/a> is considered so.\u201d<\/p>\n Trump described it as \u201cunbelievable\u201d and announced a directive to put a stop to the exploitation.<\/p>\n \u201cThis misassociation has gone on for far too long,\u201d the president said as he granted Milo Yiannopoulos citizenship and gave him Washington D.C.\u2019s key to the city. \u201cIf people want to be part of us, they have to pay for it.\u201d<\/p>\n When questioned on how he plans to track the word\u2019s use over such a vast continent, the president ignored the question completely and asked everyone to check out his new shoes. When pressed further, he said the economic gains would be \u201cyuuuuge\u201d for the already affluent.<\/p>\n In response to the order, \u201cTodos somos Americanos\u201d signs have popped up in lackadaisical protests across the continent. \u201cThose pinche gringos aren\u2019t the only Americans around,\u201d severely overweight Gavin Hernandez shouted while finishing off a 10-piece KFC bucket in San Jose. \u201cWe\u2019re all the same!\u201d chants also emerged in Buenos Aires from marchers with maps simultaneously showing \u201cAmerica\u201d as one continent and Africa as a single nation.<\/p>\n Domestically, trickle-down effects of the order have also started to resonate. When Houston native Monserrat Lopez was charged double at a local Starbucks, she was left perplexed. \u201cI wasn\u2019t even thrown off that they had written \u2018Monster Truck\u2019 on my coffee cup,\u201d she lamented. \u201cBut when the barista told me it was because I ordered an \u2018Americano,\u2019 me volvi\u00f3 loca.\u201d<\/p>\n Lopez is far from the only victim. Over the past few weeks, Latin-Americans have seen interest rates on their American Express cards increase drastically, discounts on skinny jeans decline at American Eagle, and hash browns virtually disappear from their American Slams at Denny\u2019s.<\/p>\n \u201cI even had American Chopper erased from my PVR,\u201d an angry Pedro Badilla revealed as he cried sitting through Canadian Idol. \u201cTaking away the American dream was enough.\u201d<\/p>\n Not able to focus on something for more than a few seconds, President Trump also hinted towards future proclamations. These are rumored to include shipping Alec Baldwin and Meryl Streep to a newly-minted resort in Guantanamo Bay, creating a fake news registry that includes every reputable reporter on earth, and launching his own feline rescue site called \u201cgrab \u2018em by the pussy.\u201d<\/p>\n Source: Elpeji<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" America \u2014 For years, Latinos have insisted that they are also \u201cAmericans.\u201d Now, US President Donald Trump plans to fine them each time they use the term. Latin-Americans have well-known fury from being excluded from the \u201cAmerican\u201d membership. Each time a US citizen identifies as American, the resulting argument is more intense than deciding which […] More<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":4,"featured_media":2564,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"spay_email":"","footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_is_tweetstorm":false},"categories":[12,259,1],"tags":[344,345,346,146,127,34,32,347,348,217,380],"adace-sponsor":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"http:\/\/vaticanenquirer.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/03\/150615-orourke-donald-trump-tease_gu6kev.jpg","jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"wps_subtitle":"Latinos pissed, aggressively emphasize America not a country","_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/vaticanenquirer.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2562"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/vaticanenquirer.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/vaticanenquirer.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/vaticanenquirer.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/4"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/vaticanenquirer.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2562"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"http:\/\/vaticanenquirer.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2562\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2565,"href":"http:\/\/vaticanenquirer.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2562\/revisions\/2565"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/vaticanenquirer.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/2564"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/vaticanenquirer.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2562"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/vaticanenquirer.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2562"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/vaticanenquirer.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2562"},{"taxonomy":"adace-sponsor","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/vaticanenquirer.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/adace-sponsor?post=2562"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}