Miami To Create Texting Lane On Highways For Millennial Drivers

  MIAMI, Florida –  Only in Florida. The Miami-Dade Expressway Authority (MDX) announced today that it has plans to create a bumpered...

Florida Conservative Group Says We Need To ‘Save The Mosquitos’

  MIAMI, Florida –  As government leaders argue over funding the Zika control effort, environmentalists in Florida are campaigning to save...

Apple To Release Soon The “iShoe”!

With a disappointing year and its future on shaky ground, both Apple and its investors are probably thinking the same...

Internet Argument Won Thanks to Cap Lock Key

THE INTERNET – A heated debate online was quickly won thanks to that often overlooked left pinkie companion – caps lock! Jordan...

New iPhone7 Will Come Shipped With Broken Charger Cord and In Small, Medium, Large...

VATICAN ENQUIRER - The apple company, after years of doing nothing revolutionizing, announced this morning that it will be shipping...

Scientists: Earth Endangered by New Strain of Fact-Resistant Humans

  VATICAN ENQUIRER (The Borowitz Report) – Scientists have discovered a powerful new strain of fact-resistant humans who are threatening the...

New Exercise App Just Tells Users They Ran 5 Miles A Day No Matter...

The VATICAN ENQUIRER, Los Altos, CA— Having reached nearly 2 million downloads within its first month of release, the new...

Scientists Confident Artificially Intelligent Machines Can Be Programmed To Be Lenient Slave Masters

PALO ALTO, CA—Asserting that the utmost precaution was being taken to safeguard the future of humanity, leading scientists and engineers...

U.S. Government To Force Cellphone Makers to Disable Phones in Moving Cars

The United States Government is set to vote on a bill which would force cellphone makers to create technology to...

Apple’s Flagship Product Has Gotten a Makeover

(VATICAN ENQUIRER) Cupertino, California - Taking a design style from the 1980's, Apple has gone retro with its flagship...

Global Warming – No Longer a Threat

(VATICAN ENQUIRER) In 1827 scientists launched a rocket into space, with the knowledge that by the time it arrived, it...

Aerospace Engineers Warn First-Grader’s Design For Spaceship Completely Unsafe

MONROEVILLE, PA—Listing off a litany of structural and technological flaws, the nation’s leading aerospace engineers issued a stern warning Thursday...

Apple Watch Launch Cancelled as Apple Admits They Forgot to Include a Watch on...

VATICAN ENQUIRER - CUPERTINO, CA — You won’t be able to watch Netflix on your wrist today after all as...

Self-Driving Car Escapes Lab, Heads For The Beaches Of Costa Rica

VATICAN ENQUIRER - A self-driving automobile escaped from a Silicon Valley lab this morning and is currently going south towards...

Someone Leaked The Secret Ingredient in Coca Cola! And You Won’t Believe What It...

The secret has only been known for two employees in the history of the company and world. Until today. The list...

CEO Of Tesla Motors Replaced By Robot

VATICAN ENQUIRER - In a surprising move, Tesla Motors removed Elon Musk as CEO this morning and replaced him with...