Scientists: Earth Endangered by New Strain of Fact-Resistant Humans

MINNEAPOLIS (The Borowitz Report)—Scientists have discovered a powerful new strain of fact-resistant humans who are threatening the ability of Earth to sustain life, a...

China Donates US$225 Million Dollars To Costa Rica To Improve Road System

VATICAN ENQUIRER - San Jose, Costa Rica. The Chinese Embassy in Costa Rica announced the donation of more than US$225 million dollars to finance...

New York Taxis Gouging Customers Fleeing To Canada

Taxi cab companies in New York are gouging customers fleeing to Canada, in the months since the inauguration of U.S. President Donald Trump, mainly...

Christ Appears In Roman Court To Contest 2,000-Year-Old Riot Charges

VATICAN CITY (ROME)—Complaining that He had better things to do than get up early to contest the “totally bullshit” claims, Jesus Christ, Light of...

Justin Trudeau Unveils Plan To Meet Healthcare Needs Of Canada’s Aging Prog Rockers

OTTAWA—Saying it was only right to give back to those who had done so much for their country, Canadian prime minister Justin Trudeau unveiled...

9 Out Of 10 Dead People Preferred Not To Have Died: Survey

VATICAN ENQUIRER - A recent survey undertaken by students at the Vatican University (VU) on the effects of death, confirmed that the majority of...

Controversial Trump Tower To Be Renamed Trump Plaza

Controversial Trump Tower To Be Renamed Trump Plaza (AMP) VANCOUVER, Canada – Following intense criticism over their controversial choice of name, the developers behind Trump...

Pope remains champion at annual pancake eating contest

(AMP) VATICAN CITY – Consuming a record 87 pancakes in under 20 minutes, Pope Francis has retained his championship title for the fourth year...

Trump accuses Obama of burning popcorn

Trump accuses Obama for hacking Microwave One (AMP) White House – President Donald Trump stepped up allegations today by accusing former President Barack Obama of hacking...

Pope Francis: “keep St. Patrick in St. Patrick’s Day”

Pope Francis on St. Patrick’s Day (AMP) VATICAN CITY — During his weekly mass, Pope Francis urged Catholics to remember to “keep St. Patrick in...

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