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  • Americans and Canadians Shooting & Hunting Killer Clowns (NSFW)

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    (VATICAN ENQUIRER) EXCLUSIVE FROM NORTH AMERICA: Residents all over Canada and the US are now stepping up to the maniacal clowns that have been pestering citizens for the past few weeks.Despite the multiple warnings from the police not to approach these individuals, people are finally facing their fears instead of running from them. Thousands of […] More

  • McDonald’s To Close Canada

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    (VATICAN ENQUIRER) Low profits is the reason for McDonald’s announcement of the removal of all Canadian franchises. After a year of struggling to maintain profits in 2015, the McDonald’s franchise has seen an even worse decline in 2016: starting in the US after multiple tax policies have increased the cost of doing business for the […] More

  • Nostradamus Predicted “Brangelina” Break Up

    (VATICAN ENQUIRER) Just hours after the announcement of  the Brangelina (Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie) break up, many Nostradamus experts say the famous soothsayer had predicted the event in one of his quatrains. Famous for foretelling many historical events such as the death of King Henry II of France, the advent Napoleon or the two […] More

  • Trump Says He Will Not Attend Future Debates If Clinton Is There

    (VATICAN ENQUIRER) Following Monday’s first of three planned national Presidential debates where according to Donald Trump he says he won hands down, the Republican presidential candidate has vowed to skip the remaining debates if his Hillary Clinton is there. Trump blasted Monday night’s debate, saying that Clinton “distracted him from delivering HIS message to the […] More

  • Canada Proposes A Two Loon Loonie To Offset Slumping Dollar

    From the Vatican Enquirer – The Canadian government has come up with the solution to a slumping Canadian Dollar, imprint dollar coins with two loons rather than one. The reasoning behind this bold move is simple. In the words of Canada’s chief financial officer, everyone knows what a loonie is, printing a second loon on […] More

  • E-mail Strike Looming In Canada

    From the Vatican Enquirer – Direct from a page of Canada’s postal strikes, the Canadian internet consortium announced a pending e-mail strike. Internet users across the country have been warned not to send any emails once the strike begins, as email servers around the country will either shut down completely or operate at a snail […] More

  • Apple Accused of Plagiarizing Jesus For Water Resistant iPhone

    (Vatican Enquirer) First it was Melania Trump copying from a speech by Michelle Obama at the Republican convention, then it was the scandal that aired on Aristegui News about Mexico President Enrique Peña Nieto’s plagiarism in his university thesis, and now it turns out Apple did quite a bit of plagiarizing itself with one of […] More

  • Canada BANS Donald Trump

    ONTARIO, Canadian province of  – In a meeting held by the Liberal party earlier this week, party leader and Prime Minister of Canada, Justin Trudeau called for the prohibition of Donald Trump from entering Canada effective immediately. Trudeau added that the ban may be lifted is Trump publicly apologize for his racist comments against Muslims […] More

  • Canada Prime Minister Justin Trudeau Converting from Christianity to Islam

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    THE VATICAN ENQUIRER – Canada’s prime minister, Justin Trudeau, also dubbed as “Canada’s Obama”, announced he is converting from Christianity to Islam. In a 13 minute press conference Friday, Trudeau explained his decision in his life: “After meeting thousands of new Syrian refugees, listening to their stories and learning more about the Muslim faith, I […] More

  • Canada’s Fast Food Restaurant Is Now Serving Marijuana With Coffee and Donut

    ACROSS CANADA – Canada’s most popular fast food restaurant franchise “Tim Hortons” will now be selling Marijuana upon it’s legalization in Canada, in addition to its “always fresh coffee” and quick meal options. Ron Joyce, current founder of Tim Hortons claims that this is a necessity as there are over 3,000 stores across Canada. “ […] More

  • Canada’s PM Claims Osama Bin Laden Is Still Alive And Well

    Canada’s Prime Minister, Justin Trudeau said that he has evidence showing that Osama bin Laden is still alive and well. In an interview with Toronto Star, the PM said Osama was living in the Bahamas, on the payroll of the Central  Intelligecen Agency (CIA). Trudeau told the newspaper, “We’ve received documents showing that Bin Laden […] More

  • Miami To Create Texting Lane On Highways For Millennial Drivers

      MIAMI, Florida –  Only in Florida. The Miami-Dade Expressway Authority (MDX) announced today that it has plans to create a bumpered “texting lane” along the Dolphin Expressway, according to Miami news site The Plantain.  “This is a necessary step we must take as a community to ensure public safety,” said MDX spokeswoman Anne Hinga, noting […] More

  • Florida Conservative Group Says We Need To ‘Save The Mosquitos’

      MIAMI, Florida –  As government leaders argue over funding the Zika control effort, environmentalists in Florida are campaigning to save the mosquitos. The Florida Conservation Coalition (FCC) says the attempts to control the spread of the Zika virus by decimating the mosquito population will harm the environment. FCC representative Matt Toole says, “Saving a […] More

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