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  • All Monkey, No Business

    A wildlife photographer’s life has been shattered, his livelihood and bank account in ruins because a monkey took a selfie with his camera. As the story goes, it seems that a group of monkeys clicking away with the photographer’s digital camera produce portraits of startling beauty. Andrew told the VQ that he was visiting the park […] More

  • Mexican Beer Importers Bracing For A Trump Ban

    VATICAN ENQUIRER (Spoof News) In the face of U.S. President Trump’s threatened ban, stocks are soaring for Mexican brewers, as well as distributors and sellers of Mexican beer in the United States. Reached by phone, Molly Snipes, CEO of Molotov distributors in Denver, talked to this reporter about the spike in business. “This isn’t new […] More

  • McDonald’s To Close Canada


    (VATICAN ENQUIRER) Low profits is the reason for McDonald’s announcement of the removal of all Canadian franchises. After a year of struggling to maintain profits in 2015, the McDonald’s franchise has seen an even worse decline in 2016: starting in the US after multiple tax policies have increased the cost of doing business for the […] More

  • Class Action Suit Being Filed Against Starbucks For Ripping Off Customers

    LOS ANGELES, California – Starbucks has been accused of ripping customers off by under-filling customers’ cups, and a class action suit will press for damages. If successful anyone who purchased Starbucks between 2011-2016 will be able to claim free products or receive a cash refund of an undetermined amount. According to the suit, customers have […] More

  • Nestlé secures exclusive contract to bottle and sell Martian water

    VATICAN ENQUIRER –  Nestlé announced today it has secured an exclusive contract from NASA to bottle all the water flowing on Mars. “Finders keepers, suckers!” said Nestlé CEO Paul Bulcke before adding a “nanananabooboo!” This is not the first time an American company has secured exclusive rights to mine a stellar body for resources. In […] More

  • Burger King Closed Costa Rica Because People Want To Eat Healthier

    VATICAN ENQUIRER – Costa Rica’s minister of Labour, Víctor Morales, considers that one of the reasons why Burger King shut down operations in the country, is that Costa Ricans are looking to eat healthier. “The market has been changing, people are opting for healthier options and companies have to adapt to his new reality. Data […] More

  • Billionaire Donald Trump To Travel to Costa Rica To Negotiate Purchase Of The Country


    VATICAN ENQUIRER – Following his sale of the Miss Universe pageant, billionaire Donald Trump, one of the richest men in the world, said he would be interested in investing in Costa Rica, but not as investor, rather as buyer. In recent statements Trump said he is interested in increasing his real estate portfolio and what […] More

  • Bimbo Will Remane Its “Pan Blanco” (White Bread) To Avoid Racism

    VATICAN ENQUIRER – Mexico City, One of the largest companies in Mexico had to resort to a name change for pastry formerly called “Negrito”to  now “Nito”, because according to several sources, this was deemed racist against people of a dark complexion. Now they face a new challenge as Caucasians representatives say the “Pam Blanco”(white bread) […] More

  • Donald Trump Breaks Ties With Donald Trump

    (VATICAN ENQUIRER) Adapted from – The candidate for president of the United States and entrepreneur DonalD Trump announced during his most recent campaign speech that “from now on he breaks his relations with Donald Trump for statements he made against Mexican migrants”. In an attempt to win the vote of the Hispanic community in […] More

  • Dairy Queen Adds Vodka Milkshakes to Menu

    (VATICAN ENQUIRER) You can now get a Smirnoff Milkshake or Jim Beam Bourbon Blizzard at your local Dairy Queen as the ice cream and fast-food chain moved today to counter Taco Bell’s announcement that they will begin serving beer with their burritos. “Alcohol and ice cream! Why hasn’t anyone thought of this before?” said investment […] More

  • Walmart Buys Target, Sears, Best Buy and Sony


    (VATICAN ENQUIRER) Walmart in it’s continuing quest to put EVERYBODY out of business rolled back the Dow 365 points by going on a wild “Michael Jackson-in a-toy store” drunken sailor on shore leave type insane spending spree yesterday buying up everything in sight and then some. “We wanted to buy Guam too” one Walmart executive […] More

  • SouthWest Airline’s New “Pass The Bottle” Policy

    (VATICAN ENQUIRER) Phoenix, AZ – Gas prices are on the rise once again, and once again this means that our nation’s airlines are busy coming up with sneaky new tactics to gouge a few more dollars out of the old bottom line. This week, SouthWest Airlines announced it’s new “Pass The Bottle” beverage and snack […] More

  • Pharmaceutical Rep Assures Doctor He Personally Tries Every Drug He Promotes

    NEW YORK—Saying he could vouch for the quality of every one of his company’s products, Eli Lilly pharmaceutical sales representative Geoffrey Klein reportedly assured a local primary care physician Thursday that he personally tries every single drug he promotes. “I’ve sampled each one of these, from the statins to the protease inhibitors, and I can […] More

  • McDonald’s Removes Legendary Breakfasts From Menu

    VATICAN ENQUIRER In an effort to remain unchallenged atop the hamburger food market, McDonald’s announced plans to remove its “legendary breakfasts” from its menu. The Associated Press reports that traditional breakfasts will be removed gradually at McDonald’s restaurants around the word, starting first in the San Diego (California) area. McDonald’s is fulfilling a long time […] More

  • Woman Sues Hallmark After Valentine’s Day Divorce

    VATICAN ENQUIRER  – A woman from Iowa is suing greeting card company Hallmark for creating Valentine’s Day, the pressure from which she claims led to her divorce last year. Alexandra Richmond, 36, is suing for $126 million in mental and physical damages stemming from her separation from her longtime husband. Mental damages for the amount […] More

  • Health Experts Recommend Standing Up At Desk, Leaving Office, Never Coming Back

    ROCHESTER, MN—In an effort to help working individuals improve their fitness and well-being, experts at the Mayo Clinic issued a new set of health guidelines Thursday recommending that Americans stand up at their desk, leave their office, and never return. “Many Americans spend a minimum of eight hours per day sitting in an office, but […] More

  • Three Days of Mourning for Exit of Wendy’s in Costa Rica

    VATICAN ENQUIRER ( SAN JOSE — Costa Ricans everywhere will hold a moment of silence today to honor the exit of popular Unitedstatesian restaurant Wendy’s after the hamburger franchise up and abandoned the Central American country, leaving behind a trail of tears and unrealized Bahhhconator orders. Almost overnight, all 10 Wendy’s locations, known locally as […] More

  • Chinese Mandate Babies Be Sedated Prior To Boarding Plane

    VATICAN ENQUIRER – China now requires babies under the age of 6 to be sedated with the anesthetic propofol prior to boarding, in an effort to reduce levels of child-related noise on its aircraft. The requirement also applies to all airlines flying in Chinese air space.  The Chinese government said it is analyzing the possibility […] More

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