Aspartame Addicts Force Pepsi Into Bringing Back The Artificial Sweetener

BOSTON, Massachusetts – Diet Pepsi’s divorce from artificial sweetener aspartame didn’t last long. Customers who swear they can taste the difference between the old...

Zoo Hosts Contest To Name Baby Of Pregnant Gift Shop Worker

SACRAMENTO, CA—Saying that entries would be accepted from the public until the April 4 due date, officials from the Sacramento Zoo launched a contest...

Scientific Study Reveals That Homosexuality Is Extremely Contagious

Independent researcher CSOA, conducted a study of homosexuality and posted their surprising results over the weekend. According to their research, homosexuality is the single most...

Obama Orders “No More Fat For Americans”

  VATICAN ENQUIRER - The Obama administration is cracking down on the food industry, forcing it to eliminate fat in foods over the next few...

New Healthier Menu Features Food Wendy’s Customers Bring From Home

  DUBLIN, OH —Responding to consumer demands for healthier offerings, Wendy’s announced this week the addition of its new Fit ‘N’ Fast menu, which features...

“Seek Medical Attention” Erection Warning Upped to 10 Hours

VATICAN ENQUIRER - WASHINGTON, The U.S. Surgeon General and Health Canada today issued a joint announcement that men taking medications for erectile dysfunction no...

Self Infected E. Coli The New Hollywood Diet Craze

VATICAN ENQUIRER - Spinach contaminated with E. coli has spawned a questionable health cleansing trend in Los Angeles. A spinach supplier to many L.A. juiceries...

Controversial Study Recommends Rapists be “De-Testicled”

NEW JERSEY (The Lapine) — A four-year study released today by Mayo Clinic psychology researchers finds that showing cleavage or crazy-dancing after vodka shooters...

Study Finds Pregnant Women Are Not Idiots After All

Pregnant woman may actually be able to process complex information and make educated decisions, study reveals. TORONTO, Canada - A groundbreaking new study by Canadians...

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