Mons L. Pisanello
VATICAN ENQUIRER – TOKYO, Japan — The Chairman of Toyota Motor Corporation said today that ISIS purchasing agents drove a hard bargain and his company had no choice but to throw in a few extras to seal the truck deal.
Those extras reportedly include cup holders for up to 25 jihadists in the beds of the trucks, machine gun mounts, and all-leather interiors.
“ISIS warned us they might go with the offer from the Indiana maker of Humvees,” Toyota Chairman Takeshi Uchiyamada told FOX News earlier today.
“White truck sales have been very slow for us so our hands were tied.”
“We gave ISIS a few no-cost extras and we now regret it as they are now demanding even more freebies like body side molding and 24-hour roadside assistance.”
The near-constant media coverage of ISIS terrorists driving nothing but white Toyota Hilux trucks has led politicians and unglued conspiracy-theory crankcases to accuse Toyota of undercutting American truck manufacturers chasing the large and lucrative terrorist market.
These accusations were debunked when Toyota pointed out today that the ISIS trucks were in fact made in Texas.
